A Day Shopping & Fun With Fireworks

         Its time for yet another chapter in the Ignoramus saga. Believe it or not school time is almost here and so with school time comes new cloths, and in order to get new cloths you must first shop for them, well at least act like you are shopping, so you dont get kicked out of Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, etc. So thats what we did, acted. The only thing we bought all day was gas... $0.27 worth. Oh and of course McDonalds food.

           The day started with a trip to Price chopper to use the change machine there. Before we got to the first stop light Cody had the bright idea of having Kyle wear a spaghetti strap short of Jason and Dicks little sisters. After being reluctant Kyle said yes and had the shirt on before the first stop light. Where Kyle got some rather frightening looks from others.

            When Kyle entered the first store he entered at the front of the store where every person in every check out lane could see him, and oh did they ever! After being laughed at by people with giant butts to women with mustaches they proceeded to the change machine and got their cash. Next stop: McDonalds!

             Now it was Jasons turn and he chickened out. After Kyle convincing Cody that it was actually fun to get all the attention. He did it in Quick Trip after buying our gas. There were three employees working at the time and they all three found it VERY funny. Considering we did buy only 27 cents in gas.

         Nest stop: Target, and this time Jason didnt chicken out! While Jason wore the shirt, Cody acted gay. It was a blast! While walking through the store Cody spoke to the store manager. He asked her if she was working her butt off. She said yes. As Cody walked by she looked at his butt and said "I am working mine off, but it doesnt look like you are." She was being funny, but it was kind of mean. Jason also stopped and smelled the roses and checked out some "fresh meat"

            After that yet ANOTHER stop was made, at Wal-Mart. It was Codys turn again. Everyone we passed at Wal Mart was rather rude about it, but it was still funny. Now it was Kyles turn again and he went to k mart, in the store he didnt really cause too much of a problem other then a male employee found it quite funny. After walking around shopping for thongs and other cloths, Cody took a, little fall as Dick and Jason tripped him. After awhile the guys decided to go shopping in the health and beauty section, for condoms. After staying there for a bit the loud speaker said "security in health and beauty." After that we stopped in the smell good section, and Cody sprayed as all down real good with some old ladies perfume. We then left fearing that security was on its way.

          We made our final stop at Phillips 66 and the people there were super nice to Kyle and even expressed interest in this site. They also gave us support.

It all started the week before the 4th of July, and it isn't over yet. The Monday after the 4th was the biggest day. As we picked teams it was decided that the teams would be the ignoramus crew(dick Jason Tommy Cody and kyle) vs. everyone else. We (the ignoramus crew) had the good end of the park. So we killed them. However after Dick and Kyle moved their positon, things didn't go well for them.

       Dick and Kyle's position was between the slides, in the sand, and every time a bottle rocket Hit (which it happend QUITE often) sand would blow up all over them! Dick and Kyle were hit more then 12 times between the two of them!

            After awhile things slowed down and Kyle decided to make some excitment! He got out the "crackling candles"! They are like Roaming Candles with buck shot. They worked real well against Buddy as he ran around the entire park getting shot. He was stupid enough to have his shirt off, so he was getting shot on his bare skin. After the first part of the battle we all shared battle wounds.

      Buddy had alot of little dots where he had been shot with the crackling candles. Buddy also had a large spot on his elbow where he had been shot buy a bottle rocket. Cody had been shot in the stomach and had a small red mark while Kyle and Tommy also got shot, they had no marks on them. Yet.

THE SECOND BATTLE

       After much debate teams were split up and they were: on the good side of the park, Cody, Tommy, Jason, and Buddy. At the bad end of the park: Lee, Dick, Kyle, Jesse, Hampster, Beka, Jordan, and Jessica.

      Jesse didn't show up at the park until later in the fight and he saved the day with his rockets! As we loaded the first Rocket and shot it you could stand and watch the opposite side run for their in terror! We had to have some kind of equalizer, that's why we used the rockets. However, the extra rockets pissed off cody's side as they decded to use whistlers. A more accurate bottle rocket.

         This enraged Kyle's side,(the bad side of the park) after repeatedly asking Cody's team to stop using the whistlers we used more rockets and then began to throw the pipes used to shoot the bottle rockets out of. That motivated Cody's side (the good side of the park) to charge Kyle's. After a hard charge one of the large rockets were loaded and shot at buddy and Cody. They quickly made a dash back to heir forts! After the retreat Kyle moved torward Cody and an all out gang war had erupted. There were three seperate fist fights going on while Bottle rockets were still being fired. After just a few minutes all except one fight had died off.

       The only fight remaining was Dick and Jason, brothers. They fought for at least 15 minutes as onlookers wached his mother showed up and has now grounded them. The day concluded with most of the kids going swimming! WHAT A DAY!